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"I wish you could see yourself the way I see you."
— The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood
[ some trigger warnings: sexual assault ]
It has been a while since I finished listening to the audiobook of this one. Once in a while, I decide to dive into an audiobook to sate my busy mind even though my eyes and my brain itself don't want to look at words and jumbling letters. I hate it when people say listening to audiobooks doesn't count as actually reading the book. You finished the story. You understood what it's about and it resonated with you just as it would when you do silent reading. Maybe I'm not making sense, but in the end, whether you're listening or reading, it's just the same: You are consuming books.
So, this story came barging into me at the very moment when it would hit me more than it ever would. If I had discovered it a little earlier, it wouldn't have the same effect. Same yearning, just a different underlying feeling.
Anyway, enough about that for now. We have a separate corner for that. Right now, off to the main plot we go.
Fake relationship cliche. That's the premise of the story. The characters knew this, how the plot driver is this romcom cliche you get to see in movies. We kinda of know how this will pan out and of course it will eventually turn out that way. I don't think that's much of a surprising spoiler. The conclusion of the story would almost always end up with the fake relationship transforming into true feelings, aka true love, and would ultimately be sealed with the commitment that the earlier chapters lacked. Yes, that's how this all ends up to be.
But we're not just here for the ending. If we were, then we'd all just choose to look at the last chapter, scan through its pages, and then call it a day. The whole adventure and the fun come with all the mishaps that got them from that one innocent-looking lie until their definition of a happily ever after.
I would like you to keep in mind though that it has been months since I have listened to the audiobook of this story. That means that I have forgotten most of the tiny details that made it up. I even forgot the names of the characters! (They are Olive Smith and Adam Carlsen by the way. Yes, I have checked on Goodreads. Also, I actually have never known how to spell their names before this because I have only listened to them being said by someone and not being read by my own two eyes leaves me making up the spelling every time they are mentioned.)
So, sparing you the spoilers and the specific tiny details of the plot, these arranged their relationship based on some reasons that they laid out right out front. Okay, so Adam may have this quite sensible reason, but maybe not so much with Olive. I don't know, you be the judge of that. The whole story is set in academia, which means both of them are no longer teenagers. Maybe I shouldn't drop this, but to let you know what you'll get, Adam is an instructor while Olive is technically a student working on her master's, I think? Again, they're grown-ups, but just to give you a heads-up. And anyway, Olive isn't Adam's direct student, so the school didn't put any restrictions on the subject. (They have brought up this argument so many times in the book that it's stuck in my head.)
I haven't been reading much of adult or mature romances in the past, but lately, it stuck an interest. I don't know if it's because of curiosity, being bored with YA, or it's just my age speaking to me. That last thought makes me a bit teary. Saying goodbye to my teen years is so not good of a feeling sometimes. But, setting that aside, the romance in the mature section sure is a different atmosphere. After all, adults do act differently from teenagers. They're more careful compared to the reckless high schoolers. But considering the plot of the story, adults are still stupid despite their age. I guess that's just the human part of the equation talking though.
What made this a favorite of mine is probably because of Adam's character. He may be a bit stoic, but overall, such a caring guy. I mean, not surprising considering he's the male lead and this is written by a girl, and that's just how guys are in the world of books. And of course, we always would fall for that because who wouldn't want a caring partner? I definitely would if you asked me. But unfortunately, we don't have that kind of person just lying around. Olive is just seriously lucky, I guess. If you read the story as well I'm sure you'd agree. This is the work of destiny, aka the author's plotline at work. But if it were to happen in real life, then consider it a miracle!
This sounds like I'm being overly dramatic. Maybe I am. With all the love story books I have read and the romance movies I've seen, perhaps I'm secretly this hopeless romantic who pretends to be nonchalant about every happy ending. But of course, that's just me being bitter. If you are happy with your partner, then I'm happy for you because you deserve it!
And that's just how I felt when this whole drama with Olive and Adam stopped dragging on and on and just being official with all the honesty packed along with it. Them finally getting on the same shared ground without the insecurities and the assumptions of having an unrequited love was a great finish to all the drama I had to endure just to get there. Not saying I don't like drama. As a reader, it is a given that a story should at least have a pinch of a struggle for it to be entertaining. It's when it drags in this nonsense pacing that makes it kind of tiring. (And yet I don't stop reading even through it. Maybe this is what it means to be addicted.)
Going out of the romance and on to a different topic, I just want to drop how this story included the themes of sexual assault to perhaps push character development to both of our characters. In my opinion, it is not needed. One should not be put through this experience, ever. You can acknowledge your self-worth on your own terms, and no one should degrade you or make you feel you have to degrade yourself before needing to prove them wrong.
I'm not gonna drop down the name of the person who was vile enough to act like complete garbage. That would ruin something in the reading experience, if I haven't yet that is. But I would just like to drop how I really hate him, and I wish he didn't have to exist even just through the means of words on paper. A person like that does not deserve to be called human and his thinking so highly of himself makes it so ironic and laughable. I'm glad that along with the main characters, I have also forgotten his name and I have no intention of looking it up.
BLUE'S CORNER
When I first thought about writing this review, I was ready to unpack quite a lot of things along the way. But now that I finally had the chance to write it down a few months later, I'm a bit lost on what to say. I don't think my words now would do any justice to the emotions I have felt while I was at that moment of realization. I am now in a quite better spot than before, although there are some nights when reality suddenly hits me in the face to remind me of how these things happened and no one would be able to turn back time to take them back. I would if I could, but of course that's impossible. We only live on and try to not do things the second time, or hope such things never happen again.
I did not expect to be in the middle of a break-up when I started this book. No one could expect such a thing. So, yes, that was me sounding bitter a few paragraphs ago. That was not a trick caused by the imagination. No use in dwelling on the gory details. Keeping the relevance of this situation to the story that we are talking about, let's just say that perfect guys in books make you want to cry. The way they act and the way they care would make you realize, that yes, there was something wrong with the one you had. Why did it take the last straw for things to end? One of the many mysteries in the world.
Switching to a more serious topic: sexual harassment. (YOU MAY WISH TO SKIP THIS PART.) I have not experienced a serious situation regarding this although some moments were borderline scary. However, just recently, I was attacked online. I am writing this down to say that no one should be experiencing what I did. I was fine when I received the messages, but maybe it was because I didn't read them properly. When I began to read it again as I was taking screenshots as evidence, it was hard to stomach the words that were in it. It makes you think that maybe there's a problem with the way you carry and projected yourself onto them and maybe that is why you have gained this unwanted attention, and that thought makes you sick. But no, you are not at fault. But you wish someone would have told you that. I wished someone had. So, I'm telling you now. You were not at fault. It never was our fault. No one has the right to make us feel that something like this is our fault, and I cannot stress this enough.
So now comes healing. Olive in the book needed all her time to heal from everything that she has been through, and I am the same. I'm still in the middle of it. I don't exactly have the same support system that she had. I'm not the type to spill my baggage on the people who know me. I'm the type that pours my feelings using a different name to serve as an outlet and then forgets that I wrote them there a few months later. But I'll get there, I hope so. I hope we all will.
THE LOVE HYPOTHESIS
ALI HAZELWOOD
_______________ You have reached the end... I have no idea what to feel about this review. I think I went too personal and I'm having doubts about posting it. If you think so as well, don't be afraid to tell me. But... if you read it from start to finish, thanks... I'll try to get comfort over the fact that someone took time to do so.
Have a great day.
art used at the start is made by yours truly.
