"Forever was a work in progress. And I couldn’t wait for forever."
— Mallory, The Problem with Forever
[ trigger warnings: child abuse, mentions of drugs ]
It has been long since I have read an actual Young Adult novel. I have been filling my completed book list with adult or incoming adult books (without the actual intention to) that I forgot how it usually feels to read about teenagers falling in love and getting in trouble.
So, here I was, feeling.
The Problem with Forever by Jennifer L. Armentrout. Just by the name I was sure that there was gonna be some waterworks plot in there. But me as I am, I did not prepare myself for any tearjerker cause i usually do not let out tears on a book unless they are so good, and the words hit home. Let me get to that in a minute.
The story revolves around this teenage girl named Mallory. She's a foster kid who got adopted by quite a nice couple that tried their best to nurse her back to health, both physically and mentally and perhaps they tried their best with the emotional part of that holistic health circle. She was abused as a kid in her past foster home and a lot of things happened that made her this child who can barely talk and get her points across through words. Abuse, it just ruins you.
Then comes this boy. His name is Rider, and he calls Mallory "Mouse" because of... reasons. He's the kind of guy that treats you nice, and is nice, but grown-ups might look at as nothing but trouble. But most importantly, he was with Mallory for most of their childhood in foster care. He was the guy who was there before anyone was.
So as the stories go, we have the problem. Mallory just can't be with a bad boy looking runt from the street because, well parent reasons. That part was expected. That's how it always goes, even in real life.
But I just can't get over the fact that Rider just has to have the best lines! Like really good lines that makes you want to swoon, but then you remember you're not Mallory so those words weren't meant for you. (This is not me... okay, maybe it was.) But kidding aside, I really think some of his lines were precious enough to make Mallory feel safe and secure. Like I said, they were the perfect lines, just the right words to make everything feel like they're okay. It makes you believe that everything would be alright and yeah, sometimes we need that. Mallory is lucky to have that. Words are too hard to come by and because this is a book, the author makes it so easy. But it isn't easy in real life. Sometimes the words are just not there when you need them.
Everyone in the novel had baggage to unload. No one was spared, and I guess that's true to life because everyone of us has this past or even future that we dread and fear. Mallory was told a handful of times because of this that she's not special. Because almost all of us has things we are anxious about, she was told that she didn't need the pity party that she liked to make with herself and sometimes with others.
But that's not really it. It might be true that she's not that special, but no one really has the right to undermine her experiences, nor she with what others are going through. She might be too wrapped up with her own struggles and that may be a problem, but nothing would go well if she's told that she doesn't have the right to feel this way. She has the freedom to. It's her life. But what is more important is that she had the will to outgrow that, to not forget and accomodate that into her life as she matures and finds a way a reason for her to be better.
There were some issues dropped into the story that didn't quite get the spotlight. They passed by so quickly that I had hoped they had more elaboration of some sorts. Marquette for example was an often mentioned source of insecurity for Mallory but no actual flashback from the parents' perspective was ever made. I really think there's more to what they're letting on. Or maybe she was just one hell of a perfect daughter and so no questions ask. (For clarification, Marquette was the daughter of the couple that adopted Mallory.) I also wish Hector and Ainsley had more closure. There was this off screen conversation that happened, but we will never know what they talked about and how that went. I know Ainsley isn't the main character her, but I like to think that she deserves her own book and I'm just gonna imagine that that statement is real. I need to know more about her family, her illness, her boyfriend! Where did all those info drop about her go?(Fanfiction always has the answers. Who says I can't write them?)
Talking about the writing style, I missed it! There's just this vibe with Young Adult books that are so easy to get lost in. It's one of the styles that I have adapted into my own writing style that makes it easy for me to jot down the scenes. There's just this flow that is simple and so you wouldn't get hold up into every sentence. Some may not like that, but I do! (Insert guarding stance.)
The ending of the story has been wrapped up nicely, and I'm not gonna go into the specifics with it because that would be a major spoiler, but I like it. It's a little too simple though and as mentioned, I wanted more info with the supporting characters. Simply speaking, I WANT MORE!
BLUE'S CORNER
Hi again to my little nook.
As stated on the opening sentence, I don't usually cry with books. I usually do that more often with movies because I can see the characters face and I can hear how their voices break when they're about to shed their tears. Audiobooks too because I can hear the change of tone every line.
I didn't exactly bawl my eyes out for this one. It wasn't that serious, but it hit enough for me to stare into space for a solid ten minutes. I was honestly planning to write this review just as I was replaying the scenes of the novel in my head at that moment, but then my impulsive brain decided I would go on stream and be silently thinking about it as I talked and rambled like I am totally sane. (Please be convinced that I am.)
Mallory struggles a lot with her speech. She has stutters and at the start of the novel she only ever says one or two words with such a soft voice. When she said that the words weren't the problem because she always had them and and that the problem was how to put a voice in those words, I stopped to breathe.
There's a reason why I have always loved writing. At the point when I realized that I could write whatever I want and however I can, I felt like I was given this power I never thought I had. I could never say the things I want to. Even this very stuff I'm writing right now, I may never be able to say them as coherently as I can when I speak because I ramble. I ramble a lot, so much that others might have a hard time understanding what I actually mean. And sometimes it isn't even about the ramble. Sometimes it's about the fact that my thoughts are to deep and putting them into actual spoken words make me seem scary and complicated. I'm not denying that though. I am complicated. I just try to act simple so others wouldn't have a hard time.
When Rider said, "I love it when you ramble," I stopped and unconsciously thought... I kinda want someone to say that to me. Again, he has the best lines! Just, why Mr. Fictional character? Stop making me daydream about a guy who can be like that.
Okay, moving on. I can't remember exactly on what part I cried, which is weird because I literally finished the book a night before making this review, but I think it was at the end part. To spare you from spoilers, basically it was the part where Rider and Mallory spilled their emotional guts out and laid out all the corpses that they've been hiding along with their dreams in life. That honesty stabbed me a lot of times as the paragraphs rolled on because those same things are the ones I have been keeping under my bed and haunts me every time I'm about to sleep.
I'm thinking I should list all those negative stuff, but now I'm hesitating because they are these dense blobs that I have to reread in the book so I could name them specifically. I kinda don't want to do that. But yes, let's just leave that as the great bubble of insecurities.
I like the title of this book. I too think that there's a problem with forever. For me, it doesn't exist. But like how Mallory says, there are moments that would feel like forever, and it is so hard to convince your brain that it's not. Those are the bad days, the painful days. While for happy days, forever doesn't feel like it'll fit into the equation. You immediately understand that that smiling face wouldn't last very long and that's sad. Because we would want to be happy forever, forever satisfied and never alone in a sense of being lonely.
But I make do of what I have. I personally don't like to 'live forever' anyway. There's a certain appeal to thinking about something would end eventually. It's the wishing it would or wouldn't, it's the cherishing every second or it's the excitement about wanting to know what comes next. I sincerely hope there's something good coming my way.
THE PROBLEM WITH FOREVER
JENNIFER L. ARMENTROUT
PERSONAL
CONNECTION
RATING: 9/10
_______________________ thanks for reading ^^
gif made by yours truly.
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