Imaginary Friend

 

"To keep power you give it away. It doesn’t take violence to kill evil. It takes good."

—— Christopher, Imaginary Friend

[ some trigger warnings: abuse, gore, horror, trauma (loads of it), sexual harassment, violence ]

Where do I even start? This book has been quite a roller coaster that I wanted to start talking about it right after I finished it. But then I didn't because there are just so many things to unpack that I don't even know where to begin. I firmly believe that whatever I'm going to write in this post would not do justice to the real things that happened in the novel and perhaps what comes after it. 

So, let's start?

At first glance, I thought this was a story about a misunderstood child prodigy with some kind of mental struggle. I was pretty much ready for the trauma because I was sure there's gotta be with the way the main character is portrayed. He has difficulties. He's not your ordinary kid, or as the narration tries to paint it. However, what I did not know was how scary this would all turn out to be. The main character is only eight years old, but there is in no way this book with be a suitable read for anyone in that age bracket. I wouldn't want to ruin anyone's childhood with all the revelations in this. 

First off, we have Christopher. He's a pure and innocent boy that would make you think like there is a bright future ahead of him even though he has certain struggles. And you and I would be right about that. However, that would happen in a way that we wouldn't have thought of. Unless you have read the blurb before diving in headfirst (in which case I didn't and just went on blind and clueless), you would never think that the genre would be what it is. 

This is a horror and paranormal novel. This is not a general fiction story... I don't know if I should be glad or annoyed that I did not force myself to have a heads-up about this. I wasn't at all prepared and this nearly shook the freak out of me. But then I kinda also like psychological horror stuff so nothing was lost and I wasn't disappointed in the least. I was genuinely, genuinely so into it.

So, going back to Christopher. 

He's a good kid with a possible case of dyslexia and PTSD. The dyslexia wasn't clearly diagnosed because his mother kinda wanted a break from all the mental illness cases that left her whole family in shambles, but the PTSD was for sure acknowledged and was even treated for a while in a time frame that happened before the main story. 

Slowly and surely, all the problems and conflicts within each character are revealed as this sort of witch entity is introduced through the things Christopher hears and sees. You would initially think of this as some sort of hallucination. I did. But as the story progresses, you'd begin to doubt that though (as you should). 

Christopher is not crazy. He never was. Maybe the townsfolk had a few screws loose, and who wouldn't have given their circumstances. But Christopher was in no way crazy. He wishes he was, but he wasn't and that's what he thinks is the problem. Because if he wasn't crazy, then all those bad things that are happening to the people around him are true. How his mother is suffering because of him. How the sheriff is having nightmares and blaming himself for the death of a girl wasn't entirely his fault. How the librarian has a problem with her marriage. His teacher being a drunkard and is basically wasted every time she teaches in class. How his bullies are basically victims of abuse, the boy being left in the freezing cold inside the dog house every time he does something that his mother doesn't like, and how the girl is being molested by her stepbrother every time their alone in the house. Which is almost always (I forgot the names of his bullies). 

Basically, all the people in town have a problem. These problems are driving them insane, and this sort of entity is making everything worse. Or so the nice guy, the imaginary friend of the story wants Christopher to believe. It's not at all far-fetched. After all, the witch looks evil. She acts evil too. She was portrayed exactly like a monster would be portrayed in children's story books. 

But then we know as adults, or as I'm trying to be (an adult, I mean) that the monsters we knew as a kid are different in the real world. They don't have horns. They don't look evil at all actually. Sometimes they're not even really there. Sometimes they are just there in our heads, whispering, telling us things we probably don't want to hear. 

Wow, I've only just realized that while typing this. Sometimes, you get to piece together important stuff when you look it through a bigger picture, or when you finally review and go over them once again like what I'm doing right now. 

And I'm once again getting off track. Sorry about that. Let's go back then. 

So basically, I may or may have not dropped a major plot twist spoiler right there. For those who have already read this, you probably know what I mean. For those who don't, I pray for your sanity in the course of reading this book. I hope you get to understand Christopher and the people in his new hometown. Also, I hope you get to be like Christopher and be kind. 

He is kind after all, and that's what made him strong. Because of that, he's the hero. Anyone could've been the one to save them all, but it was Christopher who stood up to and for everyone. 

The novel did mention some allegories pertaining to Christ, God, Eve, and the demon, but I don't really want to focus on that. As I've said before, I'm not that much of a religious person (anymore). Not everything is about religion or your theist and atheist beliefs. What I want to focus on is Christopher being a kid, a pure and innocent kid that only wants the good for everyone. Sure, he's selfish sometimes,  but that selfishness doesn't harm anyone. It's not greedy in the sense that he only thinks about himself. It's greedy in the sense that he just wants happiness and to get that, everyone around him should be happy too because they deserve to be. 

We all have that choice and potential. We just sometimes forgot we can and that we even had the choice to begin with, 

Being kind goes along way. 

BLUE'S CORNER:

                Why I wonder, do some of my moments just have to align in a coincidence? it's not that I hate it. Most of the time I actually like it because they are and were mostly good coincidences, like SERENDEPITY. But I just really want to know. why? and how even does it happen?

        It's been long since I read this book. actually, I finished it last November of 2022. It's now January 2023. The new year has come. A lot of things have happened in between of that too. I just didn't have the motivation to start writing about this. Maybe it's because of how busy I've been, or because the story is too heavy for me to think about so I had to take a breather. Or! Maybe I'm just lazy. (That's mostly the case with me...)

        January 06, 2023, 2:06 am. Just wanna put that out so I can remember when I wrote this very part of the post. It's just that this is somehow the best time for me to reflect on the story and where I stand in the middle of that. 

        The voices are hard to beat. they also come when you most don't want them to. I don't want them at all. But I wish they could've at least come when I'm asleep so it'll all be just a nightmare I wake up from. Not a nightmare I'm actually living. That's highly unlikely, of course, and so we endure being awake during all of their unnecessary chatter. 

        We all have that voice. not just me. My head kinda reminds me all the time that by the end of everything, I began to realize that that very thing has become one of the voices that put me down instead of actually making me move. We all have that voice so I should be more understanding, that should've been the whole message. But instead, my brain has warped it into something different. Everyone has a voice inside their heads so don't bother adding up to their problems. Your problems are not as serious as theirs so it's nothing. my brain is super mean just so everyone knows. (Bet you didn't want to. Sorry for the excessive information.)

        It has even come to a point that I'm currently worrying if I should say these things right now. Am I allowed to? is this even okay? am I being what I fear I'm being again? If I am, sorry for the trouble. If I'm not, sorry for being so negative. You should also be warned about that because I might be spreading the negative virus. We don't want that to happen. I extremely don't want that to happen. 

        So, like everyone in Christopher's story, we all have our own problems. Those problems ate at us. They devour us. Now, it's either we are too deep that we need someone to save us, or we just need to realize that we fell so we can stand up again. I, on the other hand, don't know where I actually should be in that spectrum. I feel like I can get up on my own, while there's also a part of me that seems to be waiting for someone. 

        I never thought that I would relate to this story as much as I thought. I thought I would just view it through the bigger picture and in a general sense. however, I see now that I have actually put myself within the pages before I knew it. I am, after all, human just like the characters in the story are. 

        I also honestly relate to Christopher in a way. I'm not saying I see myself as a hero. There's no way I can be that person who saves the day. I am just a bystander. However, I am an empath. having these emotions of people around me be infused in my being is too heavy for me to handle. I read too much into it too, so much that I feel like I haven't been doing enough as someone who is close to them or as someone who cares for them. The way their emotions feel like my own leaves me stuck because i know these emotions aren't mine and if I make it seem like I know how they feel, it'll all be wrong. 

        and so I try. we all are. what I hope is we don't stop.

      

IMAGINARY FRIEND

by Stephen Chbosky 

                                                 PERSONAL 

                                            CONNECTION 

                                                       RATING:             8.5/10

ps. i realized whule i edited this post that i used (i) too much. it must've been annoying to read. it's not even about the book anymore. it has all been about me. i'm sorry. i just needed an outlet to say these things and the story was just the perfect thing for everything. please read it. you'll know what i mean. also! thank you so much for reading this far. i would never expect anyone to read the end, but if you have, thank you! i'll write a different fan writing that would now focus on either of the characters in the story to make up for my endless rambling here. until then, see you!